Things To Look For In A Wedding Officiant




Your ceremony is the spiritual heart and soul of your wedding day. Yet, many people are uncertain about how to choose an officiate. You may even be a little intimidated when talking with the person who may be saying some of the most important words you will ever hear in your life. If you and your fiancĂ© are already members of an established church, synagogue or mosque, then the choice is easy. But if you are entering into an interfaith union, or neither of you has or desires an affiliation with a local religious group, you’ll want to be looking for an officiate who can serve you well on your special day. Here are some tips on what to ask yourselves and your possible minister/reverend/officiant!

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1. Do you like the officiants voice? A person’s voice is not the only consideration in choosing an officiate, but it is important. Is the voice soothing or shrill? Does he or she speak slowly and clearly? Can you understand what is being said? Remember, the officiate is communicating the special words of your wedding ceremony to every single guest. If the voice is too soft, be sure that amplification is provided. The voice must be able to carry to the last row of guests, and hold their interest.

2. How flexible is your officiate? If your Uncle Bill wants to sing a song during the ceremony wearing a toga and a wig, will the officiate forbid it? Are you free to add your own vows or other special, romantic touches? Do you want a little humor in the ceremony? Even if you don’t know up front what kind of wedding ceremony you want, are you confident that your officiate will allow for changes as the wedding day approaches? Can your officiate work with you to develop a ceremony which honors the two of you? Will the minister allow flash photography during the wedding (usually this will help make the pictures look better)? How about a video camera?

3.What is your officiants background? How many weddings has he or she performed? If she is a new wedding officiant, are you comfortable with that?

4. Are you both happy with a nondenominational and nonreligious officiate? Most ministers work with and subscribe to the doctrines of a particular faith, but not the Humanist officiant who will not evoke gods in your ceremony.


5. What donation is appropriate? Some officiates are afraid to bring this up, so you can help them by asking directly. If they’re too shy to give you a clear answer, offer $150 and ask if that will be acceptable. Remember, the officiate will be spending several hours helping you prepare for your big day, so don’t just slip $20 into a thank you card.

6. How many meetings will you have? Some officiates say no meeting is necessary, that he or she will just show up for the wedding and you can run your own rehearsal. Others want you to go through extensive premarital counseling. Some will offer one or two preparatory meetings and a rehearsal. Some are even unwilling to meet with you in person if you are just “shopping around.” What do you want? Can the officiate meet your wishes? Will the officiate be available to talk by phone as questions arise? Can you trust this person with family secrets if you just need someone to talk to about personal matters? If possible, find an officiate who is as helpful as you want him or her to be but not overbearing.

7. Will the officiate run the rehearsal? An experienced officiate at your wedding rehearsal can be very helpful, but he or she may not be available at the scheduled time. If the minister is unable or unwilling to attend the rehearsal, will other arrangements be made for someone to put your wedding party through its paces? Don’t believe a minister who says you can easily run a rehearsal yourself without some advance practical help! If the minister is running the rehearsal, will the facility also have an assistant there to help? If so, the best way to run a rehearsal is to have the wedding coordinator help walk you all up to the front, then have the officiate rehearse the ceremony itself, and finally have the coordinator direct the recessional march at the end. Ask the officiate if it is all right for the two of you to face one another during the ceremony; the pictures will look much better!

8. Should I invite the officiate to my rehearsal dinner or reception? If the officiate has a long-term relationship with you or the family, be all means issue an invitation. Otherwise, the decision is entirely yours to make. Many officiates politely decline the invitation, so if you want them to attend, it may be best to ask casually first.

9. How will the officiate be dressed? I wear a robe similiar to a judges. Ask to see the robe, or at least a picture, to see if it looks good for your wedding day.

10. How elaborate will the ceremony preparations be? Many officiates have only one ceremony they offer. Be sure you get to read their ceremony and make sure it harmonizes with what you want said at your wedding. Ask if they also have an extemporaneous sermon they will add, or if what you see is what you’ll get. Others have a few simple choices (with the option of you adding some of your own ideas) so you can create the ceremony that most speaks to you. Still others want to sit down and design an elaborate, customized wedding just for you. Always ask how long they think the ceremony itself will take; this is critically important information for your facility, photographer, caterer, etc. You may prefer something more simple than what the officiate is offering, or more flexible: whatever you want, let the officiate know up front.

11. Do you feel taken care of? Many people feel that they have to meet a religious officiants standards, and in some religious traditions this is true. You will NOT experience this with a Humanist officiant!
Find an officiant who is nonjudgemental, easy to talk to and eager to serve you, and your wedding day will be a beautiful one for everyone.

Pricing Sheet


My intent is to provide services for non-religious people. Since I am not
in this as a business to make money, rates are kept low. The purpose is to pay for
expenses and nothing more. All prices mentioned here are approximates and open to discussion as I consider services donation based.

Event/Service Price Notes

Birth/Welcoming $110 Minimal modification of prepared services
Commitment $100 Minimal modification of prepared services
Wedding $150-$300 Dependent on complexity, number of meetings, and the
amount of my participation in design of the vows
Elopement $100 Reading of vows only
Separation or Divorce
$100 Minimal modification of prepared services
Memorials and Funerals
$150 Minimal modification of prepared services

Mileage Charge $o.40 per mile each way for any trip over 10 miles of WestLake Village, 91362